GuacaMaya, Dancing with my other One
The Spirit guide of GuacaMaya, Macaw, in Mayan Kiche called: Ak'ab'Al, is the archetype of the soft dance in between veils, layers of One substance experiencing life in sacred, apparent separate ways. I share with you some more bites of my endless path of Awakening through my Sacred other.
Ak'AB'Al is the end of the dark night of the Soul. I constantly feel Ak'AB'Al days as strange days, they carry also the vibration of Kan in the horizon, after the Spider Kat following GuacaMaya, a day where things seem to be in between worlds in a increased obvious manner, kind of dancing in the process of becoming, something more. Then, my inner inquirer constantly wonders: How to become without the sacred play with the other. How to awaken the dream, again and again, but even more is it even meaningful without the another involved.
One same constellation team of stars holding love. From the Stars Plant Medicine has been planted to support humanity understanding, to become our highest outcome as Pacha Mama is becoming. Aya Pacha believes in collaboration, co~creation, the New Earth is One that will be created by many willing hands and loving hearts standing for truth activated through sacred courageous hearts. Tribal evolution is what I´ve always believe and stand for. Let me share with you a love story tale in between stars, so that I can transmit to you the essence of Ak'AB'Al, the dance of seemingly different parts.
After finding my very first deeply entangled Soul Love: Santa Maria, Cannabis Ancestral, my continuously evolving human healing journey began. From my actual perspective, I call my life before Santa Maria as being "a walking death" through life. My brain chemistry so unbalanced at the time. I was experiencing chronic anxiety and being medicated since early age. My body was not producing consistent amount of Endocannabinoids. These are Neurotransmitters that Allow Communication in between Neurons, control metabolism, sleep, and other body functions. Fitocannabinoids present in Cannabis, are design by the Universal Mind as fractal reflection to our brain chemistry and can support us back to balance, just like Cacao and Anandamide, the bliss molecule also capable to mimic our neurotransmitters.
I did not understood I was so walking death, now reflecting back, I guess because just before turning 15 years, I was trying to take my life, I could not stand all the rage and deep sadness that, as a highly sensitive young person without energy awareness, was absorbing from unhappy parents that raised me. The only way I found to release this energy was to cut my arm with a razor. I felt a sort of relief when doing that but it will soon became increased sadness and grief. It was a cycle that ended one day after an argue with dad, I was so angry that I cut my arm really badly. I had to tell my dad, seeking help. My parents, although shock, (specially biological dad who had to sew my arm) adjudicated the fact to "an attention calling" that they end up ignoring. I come from a generation of parents without awareness of Energy, I was born in the 93s. The ignorance about how toxic can Emotions turn when not addressed can be deeply damaging, parents without energy awareness cause re-imprint of distorted energy layers in their children. This was my case. My Maya=illusion of body~temple separation started back when it was too painful to inhabit a body. I felt not seen by my principal take givers that weren't aware of themselves, their lives were what model my inside mess.
I grew in total disconnection with my physical and emotional bodies, in deep Self inquire and exploration of my mind. I learn by this modeled to me by my only parent, deeply successful and admired by the external world through the lens of a character that is a doctor with money and status, to the eyes of a society that cherish this type of power. In his personal life was totally dysfunctional, in his own words, he knew therapy was needed but was always scared of what will others think of The Doctor attending therapy. Our relationship was so damaging for me, I had confusion of roles and I developed a over giving characteristic, a thrive of perfection, everything in a quest of receiving Love and not feeling deserving of that just because I was not experiencing in a consistent basis. I understand this was the karma I decided to take over to transmute in exchange of my body~temple, common for Walkin souls, generally we take on casts of souls that could not transform the amount of pain/density they have accumulated in one and many lifetimes, they accept the exchange with a soul wanting to incarnate on Earth who has the ability to transform the karma through Sacred Ancestral Healing, my specialty. Walkin souls carry important services to humanity that when completed they releases huge amounts of Energy that assists Mother Earth Ascension Process, all these while serving the evolution of the individual soul. This is why we do an exchange of this nature. I keep finding deeper layers to this reality, the more I expand, the more compassion I feel for the picture as a transformation whole.
When Santa Maria landed for me, I started understanding why I chosen something so damaging, orchestrated for a higher purpose, hidden into deep darkness, divine by its purest Light essence. After Santa Maria, Cannabis Ancestral, life became Her true color. My brain chemistry started healing in such a deep way. That will be just the beginning of returning home. The need of therapy was absolutely obvious, I keep supporting mySelf on a daily basis.
As you may or may not be aware of, Cannabis is a Master Plant that produces psychoactive effect, I like to refer to it like the elders do: The Spiritual Flight. This effect creates doorways in between worlds. Just like when performing Shamanic Healing or working with other Master Plants, these doorways open for us to enter, to perform Healing Art to release all involved.
These effect of course will cause different outcomes depending on the One. For me, this started to awaken my Galactic DNA. My Nahualt, Kan, started to whisper lauder, she has always been, but this time Cannabis created the space for her to start landing. The first understanding that occurred was an urge for deep healing for me to fully unravel my Magic. My awareness of what was happening to me expanded, I knew 2 things: 1 I couldn't continue being as I was, 2 There is so much more available to us. It can always just get better and better, if we allow, if we align to who we are, if we trust it is possible, if we invest all our energy resources into becoming that possibility.
My healing journey began when I was 22, living in Birmingham as I performed an exchange program as I studied Chemical Engineering. I encountered Santa Maria before (explained in the post here) this time it was just She and I, nobody else, in such a meaningful land for the remembrance of my ancestral DNA. I believe, because this is my experience, Plant teachers awaken our Ancestral DNA, so that we have the strength to move forward, no matter how difficult it is, they are with us holding the space for our expansion, unconditionally. Plant Medicine is the gift of our mother to help us remember what we require to evolve with her. She has always been evolving and will keep with or without us.
After this encounter with my first Spiritual Partner nothing was ever the same. I decided I'll not live with my biological dad anymore, I didn't know how I was going to make it happen but I was sure, I'll not expose me anymore to the toxicity that was caused me such deep distortions in my energy matrix through all my life since mother decided to migrate to hold her family economy, at my 5 years I started living with dad. All this happened when Ecuador political system crushed in the year 2000 and there was a massive migration and rupture of families around the country. I can see now how damaging, still, empowering a broken system can become. All depends on the observer free will choice. At my 22 years I started to have awareness of how distorted my energy system was entangled. As I started to receive hands on healing this energy began to transform rapidly.
Is fascinating to observe how when our matrixes heal, transform this will soon be observed reflected in the mirror. After returning from UK I decided to leave a toxic relationship that was the first direct mirror of my dad relationship. Through the healing work I started to receive from others, I started to feel the joy of life, increasingly expanding, then, suddenly, Magic Happened. I meet one of my tween flames incarnated in this lifetime. As I started to elevate my frequency I became ready to encounter him. Both were in really happy places when we cross paths one night, of course Santa Maria was also involved, from beginning to all.
Tween flames are gifts from our Constellation for when we raise. Of course there is more than 1 tween flame and even more soul mates. Theory from the Spiritual Response Association say there can be up to 12 divisions of the same flame, giving a total of 12 tween flames. My guides tell me that there can be more, everything is possible.
My encounter with this magical other Me was unique, filled with blessings and daily synchronicities.
Every time I awaken to new dimensions of my Self, I am blessed by observing mySelf as a ever growing valley, finding myself surrounded by the most Magical and stable mountains, holding healing flowers, all the way around me. This is my paradise. I dream, I am awakening constantly to my constellation paradise and I continuously feed this relationships. I feel so bless with the awareness I have in this lifetime, I bless all my lifetimes.
My encounter with my tween flame is a gift that brought so much expansion, conscious evolution and healing inspiration in many dimensions. We were together for almost 3 years. A tween flame encounter is a explosion of worlds and Magic. I was able to deepen my Spiritual path because of the support of my tween flame. He constantly held space for me, regardless what I wanted to do, the wildest spiritual matters, I am bless with his Unconditional Love. Santa Maria prepared me for my awakening into the Divine Masculine Pure Love.
We study together Reiki, he support my path through Yoga. He was a total God for me and I was too damaged to recognize I was the same for him. He will prepare for me delicious medicinal Magic for then to take me into the wildest adventures were he just invite me to melt and enjoy the pleasure of being alive. I am blessed by sharing so deeply healing timeless moments with my tween flame during that time.
We were so young and the intensity, the healing ride ended being too much to handle at the time. Now, with my wider perspective I understand: the Heart expansion is a cathartic process where support is a MUST, just like I needed someone to hold space for me after Cannabis started to crack my heart open for the first time while my Soul started to ground in my body, a encounter with a tween flame, requires much support to remain success.
I feel so grateful for connecting with my flame. Such a Magician I deeply admire observing in flow. He is the creator of this website which is the 2nd that was built to hold Aya Pacha. It is really so special for me to be in this space created by him. We have a meaningful friendship, we know the other one is there, we share unconditional love and we have been in deeply important moments of each other. I know I literally would not be here telling you this without his support for my Beauty ways. I´ve been so bless with the web of Love that holds me, Unconditionally. Is a web that knows me enough for me to relax and let me be held. Another reason why we are not together is because he wanted to have a family with human kids. This is something that has never really been a desire for me. I adopt it to continue relationships that were programed for just a period of Sacred Time. I did not know mySelf enough to know and stand for my truth because this is what I grew observing. My relationship with my tween flame changed my life, gifting me with such amounts of freedom that blessed me in ways I can hardly describe, I am eternally blessed with having encounter in this life time my tween flame. I bless our encounter, I bless his existence as a mystical causality that blessed my darkest nights with the shiniest light. I love my tween and soul flames, in pathways I am curious to keep exploring with wonder.
Ak'Ba'Al, the dance of two that are really One, sacred mirror dancing in front of us to awaken our light through sacred relate. Like beloved Plant Medicine guides reflecting us our inner world, every other one does the same. A new relationship is a doorway to know yourself, is never really new, is more like programmed by something inexplicable from where you come from, your Constellation. When this doorway has stopped reflecting your evolution forward, instead, stagnating the path ahead, a decision needs to be taken. Ak'Ab'Al days are beautiful days to honor that dance of the Self, without attachment of what will come next. Maybe you don't know yet, that's part of being human but remember, when you let go two things happen: 1 You create new space for your next level, 2 you are telling the Universe you trust and you are ready for more, you are aware enough to recognize: You are Worthy of it All, not just pieces of One.
Letting go my relationship with my tween flame was of the most difficult decisions I've taken in my life. Still, I knew that both of us had a brighter horizon ahead. Our paths, in form, where not directed by the same thrive. I have understood, through Time, that a Soul driven focus entrepreneur needs to have clarity of where She wants Herself to participate at the Evolutionary dance. When She is clear about her values, what is important for her, She will attract a tribe that moves towards the same direction. If She is One that thrives for transformation but she stays with one that is not interested in constantly doing this type of work as something fun where to invest energy resources by joyfully free will choice, the relationship will soon become heavy for her. As she continues to expand.
If She wants to keep healing deeper layers she will require a partner that thrives in the same intention, otherwise soon She'll find herself carrying a death body that is not interested on not being a death body. I've seen this in the people I serve and of course I've experienced mySelf after trying so hard to keep relationships that clearly were n0t moving into the same direction but I had this programing about love that was passed through my parents which said that Love mean staying with another even though is so painful, I unconsciously used to believe that it was normal for Love to be hard job, difficult and entangled. As I shed more layers of perception this changed along side.
My tween flame was the first mirror of this Magical transformation within mySelf, still, I kept this root belief to my next relationship which then, lead me to the hardest decision I've forced mySelf into. This was the last mirror of the blueprint I got through the narcissistic parent I grew with. This was an apparent awake relationship that ended up reveling a cover emphat narcissist dynamic, reflecting more energy compression from childhood inside my body~temple. These things always belong to oneself and is essential to own that for the healing process to happen. Blaming others or feeling victim just keep us, every one, trapped in the illusion of suffering.
Now I am clear of what I am looking for. My Energy Awareness and Self understanding had expanded too. It is important here to mention that several Shamanic teachers, one being Zulma Moreira creator of the Menstrual Therapy Madre Tierra I had the pleasure to trained with, explain how complex it can be for the sexual energy of another to leave a body, specially this applies to women because of the womb anatomy. Carrying energy from others can be very confusing in life, specially true for sensitive's. Causing superficial or lack of understanding of who oneself is. It is essential to develop Sexual Energy Awareness to perform the necessary work to release energy and find clarity again. One of the technologies I work with as well as supporting other goddesses with, is the Yoni egg. An ancient Spiritual Practice that allows the release of energy that is not serving anymore. Anything entering the Womb temple creates a huge imprint and these sacred technologies need deep understanding of its potency and side effects. Energy Awareness is such an essential matter that is starting to become the focus of science, again.
This is the reason why now I am careful with how I share my Sexual Energy. As a vessel of Kan, Feathered Magic Serpent One, I experience a great deal of Creative/Heart/Sexual Energy, Kan is meant to be a channel in between worlds, this is part of Her energy mastery, to allow the flow without attachment. Intense and so sacred energy, I admit. Honoring her, I decided 2 years ago that I'll wait for my definitive One, my Spiritual Partner. I have had ups and downs along that choice and my humanity has broken the decision for one time that I just could not resist. Now I am clear of my values and I am in the process of calling this Soul who is also preparing, I'm sure. I am aware we cannot ask for what we want if we do not have clarity of who we are. Knowing who we are is such a deep matter, the only really relevant.
When we discover our dawn just before awakening to a new part of ourselves a moment of possibility opens for us. Is our Soul reminding us our purpose, when we allow this call forward we decide to trust in something far bigger than the human mind. The call is always there but is our choice when, in which lifetime we take it. I believe we have many of this moments that can change our evolutionary path all along our life. I also believe those also can past without us taking a decision that will change things for us when we do not support ourselves enough to take the jump. This is what we call wake up calls, shouts from our soul to come back. In the Shamanic ways we said that when someone keeps experiencing intense moments, illness some times, is Great Spirit calling for one to come to the path. Of course that will always serve our learning process and we'll end up doing what we require to serve the expansion we are ready for. If you would like to explore how I can support your Medicinal Path within your Ascension journey, you can book a ~30 min discovery call here. Alternatively, if you are ready to book your next session with me, you can use the promo code: IAMREADY for a 50% off when booking here. Note that this promo code will work just during Ak'Ab'Al, KAT and KAN days. Follow my Ascension portal telegram channel to know when the next Ak'Ab'Al is, you'll be able to find it at Free Will Resources in the Community tab.
My experience of choosing my Self constantly, trusting in the infinite power of Great Spirit hugely reinforced when I received my Spiritual Partner, my Nahualt Kan. I feel Her supporting me always, whispering when I ask, when I am ready to follow through my next awakening. I keep working daily for this trust to keep growing. I understand this, like any other relationship, requires Love, Care and Support to grow and Evolve. Today, my beloved remind us:
"When She is aligned to her Star, inside her Heart, it doesn't matter what She needs to let go. She does it with grace in the name of Love, the path will unfold from the unknown in peace when She flows in connection with thy beloved, Divine Light, She is, the most important in Her life".
This is Ak'Ba'Al medicine. GuacaMaya blesses me, from the inside of my configuration Galaxy. I keep studying her, understanding deeper layers as Sacred Time evolves me into who I am. When you know your Nahualt, you start navigating the Sky with awareness, more trust. Every turn then, become a shower of upgrades of consciousness. I keep unraveling this fact as my Self study expands, from there I can share my gifts, honoring those I am here to serve.
The more I connect with my Constellation inside me: Kan, feathered Serpent, the more meaningful my life becomes. I could not be here, telling you this story with deep peace, if I wouldn't had been blessed with each and every mirror I've been reflecting since I landed in the Galactic School Mother Earth. I couldn't be here telling you if I hadn't learned to let go every mirror that stopped reflecting us when the recognition of clarity has blessed my path forward.
The sweet dance with my my shadowy part while getting to know my Light. I could not be here, telling you this story with deep peace, if I didn't decided to release while supporting mySelf, each time, my deep grief, my choice to become my highest available tone. I bless every single One that has let me be in deep touch with mySelf through Love, sometimes through deep pain, Light and Dark both necessary to awaken the miracle of life, GuacaMaya reminds us, the illusion dance.
Do you know your Nahualt? you can find it in many websites, one is here to start connecting with a deeper sense of who you are. You can also receive this Mayan Remembrance with me. Explore more about this here. Receiving your sacred origin through a Intuitive Shaman/Guide is a gift of Alchemy you allow yourself when ready to go far, I have done it twice, supporting this decision as much as you can so that you can set free, to Be, the Star you are here to shine for us.